


Ghostly Appearances

by Drosophila



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: AU, Actually everyone has amnesia if you think about it, Amnesiac Noah, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death Fix, Cinnamon Roll Noah Czerny, Established Relationship, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Multi, Noah Czerny needs a hug, Noah is alive, Post-Canon, Post-The Raven King, Temporary Amnesia, they need therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22537672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drosophila/pseuds/Drosophila
Summary: Blue could see a limp form on the forest floor, easily mistaken as a log.If it wasn’t for a stray athletic shoe starkly illuminated by the light of Henry’s phone.“T-there… There is a dead body here”or not even a day after the start of their road trip, Blue, Gansey and Henry find an unconscious boy at the edge of the forest. When he wakes up, he doesn't remember anything, not even how he wounded up half dead with a huge bruise on his cheekbone.His only memory is his name.Noah.
Relationships: Henry Cheng/Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Noah Czerny & Richard Gansey III & Ronan Lynch & Adam Parrish & Blue Sargent, Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 17
Kudos: 29





	1. Of car troubles and fuchsia cellphones

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I love the Raven Cycle so much and especially the Raven King, but I am not OK with Noah being dead and forgotten so God help me I am fixing it.

Blue lifted her bag and paused to look at herself in the mirror of her room. Her reflection looked kind of badass, with her combat boots, carefully shredded T-shirt and the million hair clips that according to the packaging glowed in the dark.

She also looked… happy. Happy that she survived that year. Happy that all her friends were alright. Happy that Adam had just gotten accepted into freaking Harvard of all places and Ronan was rebuilding slowly but surely his relationship with his older brother. Happy that she was taking a gap year with Henry and Gansey.

She was so fucking happy that Gansey was alive. That she could talk to him, touch him, kiss him. His dead body still haunted her, still on the ground, those wise, brown eyes unseeing. His empty voice when she saw his ghost on St. Mark’s Eve was echoing in her head the nights she couldn’t sleep.

_That’s all there is._

In another universe, Gansey was dead and gone. But in this one, he was alive, so alive and Blue was determined to enjoy every second of it. Even if he still was a condescending prick with _an awful_ taste for cloths.

She heard the Camaro roaring, the ridiculous car halting in front of the doorway. She flew towards her window and waved like crazy at the two raven boys sitting in the front seats.

“They are here!”, she screamed as she almost fell down the stairs in her hurry.

She threw open the door only to fall into the six-foot wall that was Gansey, with his aqua polo shirt, not a hair out of place, back straight, looking every part of the politician’s son that he was. A perfect poster boy for the upper-class American youth.

But then he smiled, toothy and imperfectly and the mask cracked, and he once again became the boy who ran after dead Welsh kings and dream monsters. He became adventure and safety and love.

How she missed him.

“Hello, Jane! Can you believe that the oh-so-long awaited day has finally come?”, Gansey greeted dramatically letting himself in. “God knows, we surely need this vacation”.

“Yo, Sargent”, Henry followed suit, lifting his sunglasses so he could see her eye to eye. “Ready to make the world a better place? I made a playlist for the road trip. It is gonna be great!”

“You bet I am!”, Blue high fived him, which wasn’t exactly on-brand for her, but it was an exciting day. “Just let me put my bag in the car and we will be on our merry way!”

She quickly put her rucksack in the track, ignoring the boys’ insistence to help. She couldn’t help but notice that their bags seemed a lot bigger and overstuffed and she snickered. They were rich, pampered raven boys after all.

“Alright”, she said making her way back into the house. “I think we can go!”

“Didn’t you forget something?” Maura wailed dramatically, “Aren’t you going to say goodbye to your dear mother?”

Blue bit back a bitter remark, that she wasn’t the one that left her daughter with no warning, to find her ex-boyfriend, inside a magical cave. She wasn’t angry and she had forgiven her mom some time ago, but she couldn’t help but feel that one day she would’ve woken up, and Maura would have been gone once more. This time forever.

 _Well,_ she thought a bit selfishly, _at least this time I am leaving first._

She went around the house, waving goodbye, and hugging the women present. She left her mom for last, who wrapped her arms around her in a bone-crushing embrace. Blue breathed in her scent, trying to memorize it. She was going to miss their little, messy, strange home.

“Oh, I almost forgot!”, said Calla, “I bought you a parting gift”

She dumped a handful of condoms unceremoniously in Blue’s arms.

And Blue couldn’t for the life of her tell which one of the three teenagers present in the room blushed more.

She could hear Calla’s laugh long after they left the driveway.

~~

Travelling with Gansey and Henry felt not quite peaceful, but right. Even when the bickered or disagreed about lowering the windows (Henry didn’t want the air to ruin his hair), there was a light atmosphere, an understanding that this was them, loud, argumentative, expressing their feeling with big gestures, letting themselves be known.

_Was this how soulmates worked?_

Blue wondered as Gansey was absently tapping the steering wheel murmuring the Murder Squash Song of all things.

_Loving each other, not despite their differences and shortcomings, but cherishing those parts that make them individual, flawed, human?_

They argued over the use of maps, Gansey insisting that knowing how to read a map was an essential skill, connecting them with explorers from hundreds of years ago and that it made the road trip _oh so magical_. Henry declared that Gansey was a grandpa who didn’t know how to use GPS but he didn’t put much of a fight. Even if things went south and they ended up lost, Henry still had his robotic bee, which was unarguably more useful than any fancy, latest technology phone.

However, he insisted that his playlist would play. Blue soon got accustomed to every song Madonna had ever created.

They stopped at a convenience store to buy their lunch, even though it consisted of things that were definitely not considered lunch, like chips, and chocolates and packaged sandwiches, and an armful of jellybeans. No matter how extraordinary sensible they were for their age, they were still teenagers and they felt entitled to still being disasters.

Gansey let Blue take the wheel. It was _her_ car after all! Ronan’s gift for _her_ graduation! She had to adjust the seat, so she could reach the pedals. Damn those tall raven boys.

They talked a lot. Here is a list of things that were discussed;

Their future plans for this trip; the monuments they wanted to visit, the food they wanted to taste, the protests they wanted to attend. How Adam got accepted, _after everything_ , into one of the most prestigious universities in the world. How Ronan’s crush on Adam was obvious from the beginning, (“Dick, it wasn’t even subtle! How oblivious can you be?”).

Here is a list of the things that weren’t discussed;

The past months, the demon that killed many people and would have killed even more, their two murderous Latin teachers. Henry meeting once more his past kidnappers. Blue discovering, she was part tree, a mirror to the world. Adam losing control over his body. Ronan, dying, dying, dying, black ooze sipping out of his eyes, his ears, his mouth. Gansey’s second, _-second!-_ death. The fear, the desperation, the grief that seemed to last for centuries, before finding a way to revive him.

 _Yeah,_ Blue noted, melancholic for a second, _better not to talk about that. Better to leave those memories back in Henrietta._

They called Ronan, who predictably didn’t answer. Then they called Adam, who answered promptly after a few seconds. Ronan was by his side of course. He didn’t sound even a little bit guilty for ignoring their phone call. They heard Adam berate him on the other side of the call, but there was no bite in his voice.

Their conversation was brief since they didn’t have any important news to exchange. They spent basically the whole year almost attached at the hip, after all. Blue still considered her duty to report that her boyfriend decided to bring his awful boat shoes with. Adam groaned and Ronan made an utterly inappropriate comment about Gansey wearing those shoes in bed and nothing else. Blue hung up after that.

~~

As the sun started to set, the conversation died down. Gansey offered to drive and Blue accepted, opting to declare the back seats as her property and rest her eyes for a while.

She woke up twenty minutes later when the car suddenly started complaining, wheezing and halting. The engine shut down not even one minute later.

“Oh, come on Pig 2.0”, complained Gansey, twisting the key hoping that the vehicle would come back to life. However, nothing happened, no matter how much he pleaded it.

 _Ronan’s dream car is truly just like the original_ , Blue noted. _Breaking down when it is least convenient._

Blue groggily rubbed her eyes and opened the door of the car. The cold air chilled her to her very bones, like a ghost grabbing her spine. Blue would’ve known. Even though future-now-past-Gansey was the only ghost she has ever seen, she was no stranger of dead spirits trying to borrow her energy on St. Mark’s Eve.

The road was surrounded by a dense forest on both sides. In the daylight, Blue was sure that it looked beautiful, green and life surrounding everything. Now however, the trees formed a tall wall, inducing simultaneously a claustrophobic feeling and a dark, paranoid fear of being watched. The only light came from the stars and the few lampposts placed regularly along the asphalt.

Okay, maybe the cold wasn’t the only reason she could feel every hair on her body standing up.

“Henry, where are we?”

“Shit”, he replied helpfully. “No signal. I have no idea, I zoned out ages ago.”

Using the flashlight app on his phone, he studied the map. He released a breath relieved and smiled reassuringly.

“Well if I am not completely and utterly wrong, we should be really close to the motel we booked. We might even be able to walk there!”

He turned to Gansey who had also left the car and he had lifted the hood of the car.

“What’s wrong with it, Gansey boy?”

“Um, I am really really not sure about that.”

Blue approached him and cursed silently under her breath, because how could she forget that their super-duper ecological car didn’t have an engine?

“Normally, I would have known how to fix it”, Gansey said with a small voice, almost apologetically. “Adam taught me well enough. But this is, uhm, quite a unique situation.”

“Don’t sweat it”, Blue touched his arm reassuringly. “We just have to reach a place with signal and then we can call Ronan to get his ass over here and dream us an engine running on- I don’t know, on flowers or something”.

“Yeah!”, Henry was quick to join, with a winning smile on his face. “I can send RoboBee to find us a safe and fast course to reach our motel. And if it far away, well I always wanted to go camping in a forest! ”

He gestured wildly around him; his hair miraculously intact after the long day of travelling.

“This is also just like a horror movie. We might even have our very own serial killer come out and chase us to our very gruesome death! And of course, I will be his first victim, being not white, queer and also the third wheel!”

Gansey broke into a surprised laugh and side-hugged his friend.

“First of all, if you say again that you are the third wheel, I will be obliged to murder you myself. Second of all, Jane is a goner, her legs are too short to run away.”

Blue responded with kicking him at the knee with her _not short_ legs.

“Ouch- wait shit Blue stop, I am sorry,- I can call Ronan!”

Gansey reached into the car, opened the glove compartment and proudly showed a bright fuchsia cell phone to the gang.

“I know we have no signal, but Ronan dreamed me this. I can only call his number, but it can reach him anywhere anytime! It also can blow bubbles!”

He demonstrated pressing a button. Blue and Henry were not impressed.

“Why is it hot pink?”, asked Blue.

“Because it is a beautiful colour Blue, don’t judge”, Gansey answered. “Well, I hope he will answer us this time”.

He surprisingly answered in a matter of seconds and it took Gansey a few seconds to convince him, that “no Ronan, nobody was dying. It is your car, let me explain”.

 _Everyone is still on edge, even if months have passed,_ Blue thought.

_We are all waiting for the other shoe to drop._

Because it was fishy if she was being honest. Sure, she was glad, _so so glad_ , that everyone was alright, that everyone lived, and that terrible demon was killed or banished or whatever.

But a tiny part of her, a sensible and dark and pessimistic corner of her mind, was telling her that this was too easy, all solved and wrapped up with a neat little bow on top.

If she looked hard, really hard, she could find stuff, _actions of hers_ , that didn’t make sense.

_But I am not looking. Curiosity killed the cat after all._

_(It’ll be OK. I’m ready. Blue, kiss me.)_

It was too soon. Too terrifying for her brain to play tricks on her like that.

“-Is Adam here? Tell him to come as well. He is a genius. He can figure it out. Alright, see you tomorrow!”

Gansey hung up and quickly filled them in, his words frantic and enthusiastic.

“Ronan and Adam are coming! Not right now, but they said that they will come tomorrow, even if it will take them half a day to reach us! They will find a way to fix it and-”

“Are you still trying to convince them to join us?”, Blue interrupted before he could start reciting a love poem about their friends. Again.

“Sadly, I don’t think there is any power on this planet, magical or otherwise, that will convince Adam to skip his first year of college to hang out with us”, he remarked rather accurately.

“Alright boys!”, Blue decided. “We are just wasting time. Let’s grab our stuff and go before we freeze to our deaths.”

She made her way towards the car.

_And then Henry screamed._

She whipped her head so fast that she can feel her neck cracking. She could see Henry standing on the edge of the road, ( _when did he go there?)_ , signalling them with the flashlight.

“Guys!”, he cried when they finally reached him, his voice uncharacteristically loud and high pitched.

Behind him, Blue could see a limp form on the forest floor, easily mistaken as a log.

If it wasn’t for a stray athletic shoe starkly illuminated by the light of Henry’s phone.

“T-there… There is a dead body here”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading until the end of the page amigos.  
> You already know about the kudos, comments, bookmarks etc  
> I would love to hear your thoughts!


	2. Of cans of Coke and faint heartbeats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaos and panic ensue. The panic comes mostly from Henry. Yep, that's the chapter.

Honestly, their reaction didn’t quite match normal teenagers. Henry was still trying to calm his heart thrashing wildly against his chest as Blue and Gansey leapt into action. Gansey quickly whipped out his phone, trying -and failing- to call someone, presumably the police, despite the lack of signal. His face was a mask of stone, all business, not feelings get in the way of calmly accessing the situation.

Blue, on the other hand, reached into one of the giant pockets in her coat and took out her pink switchblade. It was a gift from her mother’s last boyfriend, who also happened to be a world-famous assassin and old poetry enthusiastic ( _go figure_ ). She handled her weapon with practised ease while using her own phone’s flashlight to scan the surrounding area.

 _Huh_ , a numb thought crossed Henry’s mind, _maybe there is a serial killer here after all._

He supposed their reaction made sense. In the past few months, those two had seen many dead bodies. He recalled stories about a gentle giant stricken by a family course, the death of his very own Latin teacher, the death of the henchmen of his new Latin teacher ( _I mean come on!_ ). He could see Gansey’s dead body, every time he closed his eyes.

Yeah, they were all too accustomed to death. Too traumatised no matter how hard they played pretend.

And this poor motherfucker looked like he was here for days and days.

He could see that it, -no he- was young, around their age. He laid on his side, in an almost foetal position, his arm outreached towards the forest as if he was reaching for it, begging for help from the trees in his last moments.

_Guess that only works if you are Richard Campbell Gansey the Third._

His sweater, deep blue in colour, similar to the Aglionby uniform, was tattered and dirty. It looked like roots and moss had grown on him, which was impossible since grass couldn’t grow that fast. _Could it?_

He couldn’t see any obvious injuries on the body.

Bracing himself, Henry finally looked at the dead boy’s face and then paused, caught up in the moment.

  
The kid looked like he was sleeping, eyes closed, his blond, almost white, hair all messed up, a peaceful expression on his face. He could have been sleeping if it weren’t for a huge bruise spreading on his cheekbone, in huge contrast to his pale skin.

“Check if he has an ID on him”, said Blue.

He didn’t refuse even if his whole body was screaming him to. He couldn’t say “no” to Blue.

With hands slightly trembling, Henry kneed in front of the body.  
He looked so serene. Just lying here in the threshold between civilisation and wildness, the forest almost seemed to breathe life into hi-

_Wait a second!_

He could see his chest moving slightly. Were his eyes playing a trick? Quick like lightning, he grasped the boy’s wrist and- THERE!

A pulse, weak but real, present, here.

“He is alive”, whispered in awe, only to repeat it louder. “Blue, he is alive!”

“Shit!”, said Blue eyes widening, before running to the Camaro. Thank God, Blue’s mom had insisted on bringing a small bag with first aid supplies with them.

 _Maybe she predicted it_ , Henry thought. It didn’t matter. Not now.

He didn’t let go of his wrist. He couldn’t. Because maybe if he did, the faint pulse would stop entirely. He inched closer, kind of hugging him but not really, and futilely, foolishly, tried to transfer some of his warmth onto the teen’s body.

The boy’s hand is _so cold_.

“It’s gonna be alright”, Henry whispers, his voice barely audible. “You are safe now.”

He was never good with words, he never knew the right thing to say, and the guy surely couldn’t hear him, but still. He wished to help him, and he wished he was Gansey with perfectly articulated thoughts, and he wished the Camaro had never stopped and he wished the had arrived here sooner and he wished they never arrived here at all.

He felt a steady hand on his shoulder.

“Do you think we should move him?”, Gansey asked, his voice calm, but his eyes betrayed his uncertainty and fear. He hated seeing Gansey so lost.

“I-I don’t think we are supposed to move unconscious people. It might worsen their uh- injuries. Or something. I don’t know”, Henry said lamely, his usual charm he could normally manifest in a heartbeat gone. Gone as the magic of the trip, disappearing in an instance.

“Still, I can’t see anything worse than that bruise on his cheek and it is _freezing_ out here. It is June, how can it be so cold? We should get him in the Pig. It is warm and clean, so we can treat-”, he gestured at the general direction of the injured guy, his eyes avoiding him, “whatever we are able to treat. Then we can go and ask for help. Or find a place with signal and call an ambulance. He will be back on his feet in no time. Everything is gonna be OK”

His voice was getting steadier and steadier with every word, and with the prospect of a clear plan, Henry felt himself calming down. He nodded and tried to offer a small smile. Emphasis on tried.

With Gansey’s signal, they lifted the unconscious teenager, ( _he was so light! Why was he so light?_ ), gently carried him and placed him into the backseat of the car.

Blue was going through the first aid bag. It was full of Post-It notes, possibilities and predictions by the women in her family. How to treat several injuries from snake bites to burns to wounds caused by a sharp-object-that-was-shaped-like-a-screwdriver-but-not-a-screwdriver. She seemed to have found what she was looking for, her eyes skimming the page.

“What does it say?”, asked Gansey.

“Call an ambulance”

“Can’t do. Next!”

“Uhm, apply ice to the bruise to reduce swelling?”

“We don’t have ice”, noted Gansey.

“But we have this!”, Henry reached into the cooler and grabbed a can of Coke. It was still pretty cold, they bought it only a few hours ago.

Blue nodded approvingly when he tossed it in her arms and gave him a genuine, special smile that she usually reserved only for Gansey and her family. He blushed and then he got mad at himself for blushing, because he really shouldn’t be so desperate for validation and also now it was decidedly not a good time to get frustrated over stupid things.  
 _Get a fucking grip Cheng. The adrenaline makes you stupid._

She held it against the guy’s bruise. Everyone held their breaths. He didn’t steer from his sleep. The breaths were let out in disappointed huffs.

_Did he get brain damage? No, the bruise is on his cheek, that is too low. Or isn’t it? Maybe he hurt his head falling?_

There was no point in half being in, half being out of the car so they all got in. Gansey and Henry in the front and Blue stayed with the boy in the back. They glanced at each other and then at the boy, and then at each other again, and they fidgeted, and they sighted but there was no attempt to start a conversation.

Blue swapped the can of Coke with a new one after a few minutes and Henry couldn’t for the life of him see any improvement regarding the bruise. He left the car for a second, to find and open his suitcase in the trunk. He picked up his warmest jacket -an obnoxious lime colour which he absolutely loved- and he wrapped it around the boy. Not entirely pleased, but recognising there wasn’t something better he could do, he returned to his seat.

After some torturously slow minutes, Gansey was the one who broke the silence.

“He was covered in moss, hidden at the edge of the forest. Do you think someone attacked him or tried to murder him and just covered his body and left him alone to d-die?”

His voice cracked a bit at the end. Henry couldn’t help but compare the unlucky teenager with Gansey who was stung to death by hornets alone in a field. When he was ten. Damn this road trip sure did a good job reminding him of how many times he almost lost his friend.

Suddenly he couldn’t control his mouth.

“Gansey?”, he asked, his voice void of emotion, because he was hiding too much of it to properly express it, “when you died the first time, _how did you come back?_ ”

Gansey’s mouth was starting to form an answer when Henry heard a light tap against his window.

“RoboBee!”, he exclaimed as he lowered the window. “Tell me you have good news!”

He felt the familiar feeling of information gently implanting itself into his brain. No words were needed, one second he was in the dark, the other not. Like the flip of a switch or whatever lousy metaphor English teachers loved.

“The closest place from here is the motel. Just half an hour by foot. No hospitals or towns at a walking distance. Also, no vehicles approaching.”

His words were met with utter silence for a second.

“Now, what?”, Blue asked. “We have to find him a doctor. Or a hospital. Or a proper adult who knows what they’re doing”

“Maybe if we can carry him to the mote-?”, said Gansey.

“We cannot carry him and all of our staff with us! And we cannot leave our bags by the side of the road for grabs.”

“What if we wake him up?”, Henry half-heartedly proposed.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea. Disturbing him might seriously mess up with his head!”, Blue argued, not angry but quite frantic.

“It’s his cheek! I am sure his brain wasn’t affected!”

“Are you a freaking doctor? What if it does though? What are we gonna tell his family? Sorry ma’am your son died and-slash-or will suffer a lifelong injury because we decided to wak-”

A groan came out of the unconscious boy’s mouth.

All conversation ceased at once. All eyes zoomed on the stranger, who shifted a bit in his sleep, before becoming limp on the seat once more.

They waited for a second. Two. Three. Henry felt himself relaxing.

“Huh, guess he won’t wake up y-”

The boy’s eyes _opened_. And zeroed on him.

Henry let out a small, very manly scream. The eyes were blue, so pale they almost looked silver.

_Almost the exact same colour as Elsa’s dress in Frozen._

Henry didn’t like light coloured eyes (which was probably caused by a perfectly healthy amount of fear of Ronan Lynch) and he certainly didn’t like those ones. They were unfocused, seemingly lost in a haze, and the cold absence that they radiated, sent warning signals to his brain. There was no emotion, no recognition in those eyes.

Thankfully after what felt like centuries, the boy shifted his eyes towards Blue and then Gansey, examining thoroughly with the same bland expression on his face.

Henry knew he should say something because, despite the whole language barrier, he was always so good engaging with people, but his mind came up empty. His friends seemed to have the same problem, mouths opening and closing, searching for the right thing to say.  
The stranger looked like he got tired of waiting and cleared his throat.

“Uhm. Hi?”, his voice came out rough with disuse, “Who-who are you people?”

“I am Gansey”, his friend, ever the diplomat, introduced himself, “this is Blue and Henr-”

“Hey, I am Henry. How the hell did you almost end up dead in a ditch? Quite literally”

Henry could feel his pulse rising. Half an hour ago he thought that this kid was dead. No time for pleasantries.

The stranger blinked slowly, trying to comprehend his words. Finally, he could see emotion in his eyes. Confusion. His hand went up to gingerly touch his awful bruise. He blinked again.

_Stangeboy.exe stopped working._

“I- what? What happened? I-I don’t-”

It was too sudden for Henry to react. The teen’s breathing got rapid and shallow and he hugged himself with his arms. He was hyperventilating and Henry immediately felt guilty for jumping on him like that. He was reminded of himself every time he used to get those terrible panic attacks when he entered a small, dark room.

Blue, sensible, empathetic, wonderful Blue, came to the rescue.

“It is alright. You just hit your head. We found you and we will get you to a hospital as soon as possible”, she said softly.

“I don’t- I don’t remember-”, he couldn’t finish his sentence.

“Do you know if we are close to your home? We know there is a town nearby”

“I don’t remember. Anything”, his eyes shifted between the three teenagers, suddenly terrified and full of desperation, “I can’t. There is nothing. Nothing”

Understanding dawned on Henry. He was truly a shitty person for hating those blue, unfocused eyes.

“Oh.”

Amnesia.

Damn that only happened in movies. Henry was so not equipped to deal with this.

“Can you remember even one thing? Anything? No matter how insignificant, it can be helpful”, he probed the injured boy, whose face twisted in concentration.

Gansey and Blue caught on and exchanged a troubled glance with each other.

A few seconds passed by and he felt helplessness sinking in, like a heavy blanket on his shoulders.

Then the boy’s eyes lightened up in recognition.

“Noah. My name is Noah”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Henry can freak out and pine at the same time, because our boy can multitask. Thanks everyone who took the time to read, comment and/or leave kudos.


	3. Of peanuts and nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah is confused, tired and would've liked to take a nap, thank you very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! There is no consistency in the length of those chapters. Trigger warnings: sensory overload, non-descriptive violence, descriptions of major character death (he feels better now).

His brain couldn’t seem to work, betraying him at every turn. And he wasn’t even talking about the whole hazy fog inside his mind.

No, Noah, (at least he thought his name was Noah), was talking about the overwhelming, loud sensations he was feeling… everywhere. The can of coke, even though he knew it couldn’t possibly be that cold, was positively freezing him. He could almost feel icicles forming on his check and he told the girl -Blue? He was sure her name was after a colour- that he felt well enough for her to stop pressing it against the bruise. He ran his hands against the surface of the seat, again and again, the rough, old texture surprising every time.

And the noises. Goddamn it those noises. He tried to zone out and ignore the conversation between the three others to collect his wits. But. They. Were. So. Fucking. Loud.

Maybe this was a sign of a panic attack. He was awake for ten minutes and he already had one, but he felt he was entitled to a few more.

Would it be rude if he fell asleep again? Probably.

He tried to engage in the conversation. He honestly did. But everyone was asking him questions and he didn’t know the answers. He didn’t know his last name. He didn’t know his address. He didn’t even know how old he was, even though the strangers informed him that he seemed their age and that there were _definitely_ people out there looking for him.

Blue -yeah he was pretty sure, she looked like a Blue- passed him her phone to stare at his reflection using the front camera.

Her hand briefly touched his, and his skin recoiled to her touch. Sent shivers down his spine.

He instantaneously flinched, retreating as far back on his seat as possible.

She was warm and soft and why was he flinching from human contact? Why had his body forgotten this sensation?

He could tell that the others noticed, but they didn’t mention anything.

Henry told him to brace himself, the bruise didn’t look pretty. However, when he finally caught a glimpse of himself, what he saw didn’t surprise him. At least the bruise didn’t look any more surreal than the rest of his face. No more unreal or off-putting than a freckle.

He was however alarmed by how pale and thin his face was. He appeared sickly and half-dead, which he assumed was quite accurate.

He asked questions as well. Blue, Henry and … uh, Gansey (?) told him they were on some sort of an epic road trip to celebrate their graduation from high school and the beginning of a gap year. He observed the way they talked and interacted, like a well-oiled machine. Pausing just in time for another person to fill in, matching the tone, even completing each other’s sentences. It was a bit intimidating, to be honest. And sickening sweet. They sure seemed close as thieves. He let them talk, opting to stay silent, finally opening that Coke and taking small sips. He was parched.

He interrupted them when they mentioned the car breaking down.

“Do you need help with that?”

“Do you know much about cars?”, Blue quizzed him.

He stuttered.

“Ye-no, probably? I don’t know. Maybe if I can look at the engine, I will think of something”

OK, he didn’t think that his answer was _that_ bad. Why the hell did the others look at each other with the most alarming look on their faces? After a few seconds of an intense staring battle (seriously, how interconnected were they?), Gansey took the lead. Which was a poor decision, because he was an awful liar.

“N-no need for that! The engine is fine, nothing to look at. Well… actually not great, but, uh-we are missing a part! And we can’t start the car without it. Some friends of ours will come tomorrow. So, there is no use to look at the engine”

Noah could see Henry not-so-discreetly facepalming.

He made a point to look at Gansey with the most deadpan face he could manage.

“That sounds totally believable. Thank you”

He didn’t really care if those people were hiding whatever drugs they were obviously taking. His head was hurting too damn much for that. He took another sip of his Coke. Did soda always taste that good and sparkly?

“Hey, Noah? Noah!”, Gansey demanded his attention. Noah responded with a dignified grumble.

“We are thinking of walking to our motel. It seems to be close by and it is unfairly cold for this time of year.”

Noah had no idea what time of year it was, but nodded, nonetheless. Gansey satisfied, continued.

“Can you actually walk? We can ask for a ride to the hospital as soon as we get there.”

“Sure?”

“Great!”, Gansey answered beaming, “Excelsior then!”

“What does th-”

“Oh God, Noah, don’t encourage hi-”, Blue started before getting interrupted by her boyfriend.

“I am so glad you asked! It means ever going upwards! To greater heights, to new adventures!”

“I am pretty sure you plagiarised Stan Lee”, mumbled Henry, as everyone climbed out of the car. Which was so. Orange. Why?

“Nonsense! Now Noah”, Gansey turned his head to look at him, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes, “What do you know of Welsh Kings?”

And Noah could suddenly feel every cell of his body freezing and then burning, rejecting and accepting.

“I have no idea. Tell me about them”

~~

Noah felt… OK. It was hard to believe since he looked like he hadn’t had a meal for days and his head was still burning, but his legs felt steady, and he could walk in a straight line without stumbling. The duffle bag he offered to carry, wasn’t even that heavy.

The people he was walking with didn’t seem to believe it either. They proposed multiple times for him to use them as a crutch, or to take small breaks, or to give him food.

And every single time he said he was alright. Because he didn’t need anything. He just wanted to get back his memories, go home, and let this whole thing be a weird story he could tell at parties.

He liked those teens. He really did and he felt bad he was trying to abstain from their conversations as much as possible. But everything was loud, his footsteps were loud, the wind was loud, their chat was loud, and he knew it was impolite to cover his ears, but the urge was so _strong._ His arms were locked on the side of his torso, fists shaking.

_If anybody touches me, I am gonna flip._

But damn, he was hungry.

He felt Henry’s eyes on him. He saw him pause and bend down. He grabbed the end of his shoelace and with a swift movement of his hand, he untied the knot.

“My shoe is untied. Go on guys, I will catch up in a hot sec!”

Gansey and Blue nodded and continued walking, Gansey’s words about lay lines and lost kings remaining in the air for a moment, before being blown by the wind. Noah started following them when Henry whispered him to wait for him.

_I don’t understand._

Henry tied his shoe on his own leisure and smiled innocently at Noah, while he responded by raising his eyebrow.

“Sorry to keep you waiting”

_You untied your own shoe. What. The. Hell._

Henry continued.

“Figured you could use some peace and quiet. Gansey means well but he can get overbearing at times. Trust me, I love his whole professor thing, and history and myths are so freaking interesting when you can experience them yourself-”

_What?_

“-but now is decidedly not a good time for that. Also are you sure you are not hungry?”

Noah stared. He opened his mouth, but he couldn’t find the energy decline. A small “thanks” escaped him and gratefully accepted a bag of peanuts. The other boy was careful, so their fingers didn’t touch, as he was handling it to him.

However, after that, his face scrunched up in consideration.

“How do we know you are not allergic to peanuts?”

“Well one way to find out”

He took a handful of nuts and tossed them into his mouth. He waited a few seconds and his stomach didn’t explode. Yay, success!

“Well, won’t you look at that? Somehow still on that plane of existence”

Henry laughed and stole a peanut from the bag before he could protest. Noah noted that his laugh didn’t worsen his headache.

They continued in a comfortable silence a few paces behind Gansey and Blue, who seemed engrossed in their own conversation. At one point the girl paused for a second before practically climbing Gansey to kiss him.

Noah turned to Henry to comment that she looked a bit like a weirdly dressed monkey but paused when he saw he was staring at the happy couple, a slightly sad expression in his eyes.

“So, uh Blue and Gansey? Are they dating for a long time?”, he asked unsure how to proceed.

“Well, only for around seven months. But believe me when I say that they are soulmates. They are both great for each other”

“But isn’t it weird being on a trip with them? With them having make-out sessions and whatnot?”

Henry laughed.

“Oh god, the first time they kissed I had a fucking heart attack. Easily one of the most stressful nights of my life”

“Really? Your friends kissing was stressful. For you?”

“It was a weird day”, he said with a small, secret smile on his face, like he knew more than he was saying. “But I am so happy for them. They deserve this more than anyone I know. I am lucky to be here with them”

His sad expression was back, and Noah realised that it was longing he was seeing. Longing for which one of the two? He decided not to mention anything.

Henry noticing his silence changed the subject.

“What kind of person do you think you are?”

“I think we already established I have no idea”

“I mean, do you think you were one of the popular kids in high school? A nerd?”, he gasped for a second, eyes widening with excitement, “ _A theatre kid?_ ”

“Please stop”

“A band kid! Maybe you played the flute”

“I will shove those peanuts down your throat”

“I found it!” Henry exclaimed twisting his body so he could see him better. “You sir, were in glee club”

Noah stopped and took a deep breath. Then he stared into Henry’s eyes and gave him a sugar-sweet smile.

“I will give you five seconds to run away”

Henry gulped once before running to hide behind Blue.

~~

When they finally reached the motel, Noah was _exhausted._ The strength he felt when he first left the car had evaporated. He managed to almost fall three times. Even though the group of people who accompanied were fascinating and he enjoyed listening to them talk, he felt he could just lay on the side of the road and sleep.

Which was pretty much what he was doing in the first place. Past him had the right idea.

But then they took a turn, and they saw the lights of the building complexes and the three teenagers cheered and Noah found himself raising his fist to the sky with them. They stumbled into the main building, the only one that radiated light and came to face with a soured faced receptionist.

She was middle-aged, with her hair in a low ponytail, and a nametag on her vest that read _Janice._

“You are late”, she remarked not even welcoming them.

_Welcoming people into the motel is the bare minimum._

Before Gansey could reply, she continued, the annoyed expression ever remaining.

“Our latest check-in is at ten. It is eleven-thirty”, she tapped her manicured finger at the desk to highlight each word, like a parent explaining a mistake to a very small, very stupid child.

Thankfully Gansey came to the rescue, smiling like being patronised by a receptionist of a cheap motel was the best thing that ever happened to him.

“You see ma’am, our car broke down a few miles back and we had to walk all the way here. We would’ve of course called you, if it was not for the absence of signal. We are beyond thankful for waiting for us. Also, our friend here-”, he motioned at Noah, “-requires medical attention.”

_Friend?_

Something deep inside him warmed up. He waved awkwardly at the receptionist, fully aware of the mud on his clothes and face and hair and under the fingernails and _God he needed a shower_.

She looked him up and down, before shaking her head.

“Look, kid, the nearest doctor is an hour from here and I already stayed way past closing time, so unless your friend is _dying_ , it can wait for tomorrow”

Gansey tensed up, readying a defence. For him. Noah swallowing any nausea, lightly touched Gansey’s arm.

“Hey dude, I am alright. I am gonna figure it out tomorrow morning”

Gansey probably noticing how tired he seemed, lifted his hands accepting defeat.

“Alright,” Blue spoke for the first time. “Can we have the key for our room please”

Once again, the receptionist shook her head.

“You booked a room for three people. We are legally not allowed to house more than three not related people in the specific room. You have to pay extra for a suite if you want to all stay together”

Noah felt the ground disappearing under him. How did he forget about that? He froze, not even bothering to check his pockets, he knew he had no money on him. His ears were ringing.

_How am I so stupid? How did I forget that motel rooms need money? Where the fuck am I supposed to go? Should I camp outside? Walk to the next tow-_

“Well, I guess we will have to upgrade to the suite then. Please”, Henry said pleasantly like it costed nothing. Like he wasn’t casually saving Noah’s ass right now.

Gansey nodded, manifesting his wallet from his back pocket.

“We can handle the money for now”

“B-but. But you don’t have too. Y-you already did so much. You don’t need to-”

“Nonsense. It is plain logic. When we find your family, you can pay us back”, Gansey hesitated, before adding, “You don’t owe us or anything. It is simple human decency”

“Won’t that money affect your budget?”, Noah asked, slowly feeling warmth returning to his limps.

Blue almost collapsed laughing.

“Believe me. It is the last of their concern.” She almost jumped onto the desk and gave the receptionist the dirtiest look. Noah almost felt sorry for her. “Can. We. Have. Our. Key. Please.”

They left triumphally with the key not even thirty seconds later.

~~

“So. Should we wake you up every three hours? I heard that this is what you do when someone has a concussion”

“I don’t have a concussion”

“But you do have brain damage”

“I do not- Alright I might have, but don’t you dare wake me unless I have seizures or something”

“Hey, Noah?”

“Yes, Henry”

“Since our beds are next to each other, I gotta ask. Do you snore?”

“Henry, I swear I am going to kill you and I will make it look like an accident”

~~

Noah felt like he was driving forever.

He was driving so long that the wheel felt like an extension of his body, and he was pressing the petals just by pure instinct, as easy as breathing.

He was driving. Driving and looking out of the window.

He was looking as he passed through beaches, and houses he didn’t recognise, and past a girl with the same blond hair as him. He passed giant crabs, and mini Eiffel towers, and paper birds and sad jogglers that almost dropped their fluorescent, plastic balls, but caught them in the last second, only for them to once again slip from their hands.

_This is a dream. I will wake up now._

He didn’t wake up. He kept driving.

And then he reached the forest. The Forest to be exact. It felt more like the sum of trees and grass and animals. It was more, it was the personification of those forests that hid witches and hungry big bad wolves and fairies and secrets.

_I don’t want to stay here._

His foot pressed the brake. The car, new, expensive, beautiful car, came to a stop.

“We are here. Let’s go”, someone said from the front seat next to him.

He knew that voice. He hadn’t heard it for a long time. But you don’t forget the voice of your best friend.

_I don’t like it here. I want to leave._

“Are you sure it is going to work this time?”, he heard himself saying. He tried to turn his head to look at the person sitting next to him. His body didn’t cooperate.

“I am sure. I figured it out”, the voice said reassuringly, but it couldn’t disguise a bitter and dark tone underneath the certainty.

_Run._

“Barry?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“But it’s fun”

Noah paused like he was searching for the right thing to say;

“You know you can talk to me, right? I know things are tough right now, but I am here for you. Whatever happens”, he said softly.

He tried to emphasise every word because he meant it. They were a team. Them against the world.

The other boy let out a shuddering breath.

“Oh Cz-”, the rest of the sentence seemed far away like he was pushed underwater. However, he heard his next words loud and clear.

“ _You were always an idiot”_

They were words of endearment, a friendly tease, but in this Forest, every syllable was transformed, twisted, dismantled into something dark and threatening. Noah felt cold inside.

He felt himself laugh.

“So, are you gonna tell me the plan or surprise me?”

His best friend was always ready to spill every little detail, every small piece of information, share any and all ideas and pranks.

“I think I am gonna have you guessing with this one. Prepare the stuff and I will tell you then. I will catch up later, I have something to do.”

This time both Noahs, the one in control and the one trapped inside shuddered.

_He is smart. I bet whatever he plans, it will be amazing._

_I trust him._

Noah tried once again to look at his friend, but his body didn’t obey him. In the corner of his eye, he could see an arm that was covered with a blue sweater. The same colour as the sweater Noah was wearing right now.

Lately, his friend’s behaviour had changed. He was darker, more cynical, more desperate.

_I hope we do it right this time. For his sake._

Suddenly through dream logic, his hands were full.

A small ball. A water bottle. A piece of chalk. A branch with a splitting end. A black candle.

He knew when he reached the right place. Nothing moved, seemingly frozen in time forever.

_There should be a church nearby._

He couldn’t see a church. He didn’t know why he thought there was one.

He started arranging the objects. He was practised. He had done it many times before.

_At first, it felt holy. Amusing. Dangerous. Now another routine._

He noticed the ants when he gently placed the candle on the forest floor.

Normal, black ants. Nothing special about them. You can find them everywhere in a forest.

He grabbed the end of the stick (and he knew he shouldn’t use it like that, it was a dowsing rod, not a toy), and carved a wobbly line on the ground. The ants walked into the mini ditch he created and followed the line, like it was a highway until the other end, without climbing the walls.

He smiled and tried again. This time he carved a small cycle. The ants once again stepped inside and started walking, not realising when they ended up in the same spot where they started.

They did the cycle again and again.

_I wonder if they ever going to realise that this leads nowhere. I wonder if they will escape or if they will continue forever until they die._

He knew that ants probably didn’t behave this way. That normally they would’ve escaped. But in this Forest, everything could happen, if he believed it did. If he wanted it. The Forest was terrifying and unnatural.

But he loved it like nothing else.

The ants continued to go around and around.

He heard footsteps. Someone approaching.

He carved another line, breaking the cycle. The ants escaped.

He turned around.

“Hey, Barr-”

_The skateboard hit him. The skateboard hit him. The skateboard hit him._

Bone will break, is breaking, broke. Just below his left eye.

Noah fell. His head landed directly in the centre of the broken cycle. A broken halo.

_I don’t understand. Help. Please, somebody._

_It hurts._

_Ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts._

The skateboard falls again.

His body is twitching and breaking and burning and freezing and fills with magic and he is magic and _it hurts._

He tries to move his head. He couldn’t see his friend as tears are making everything foggy. Or maybe death made everything foggy.

_Please help._

_Please._

_I am so scared._

It was of no use. He was alone.

He felt his body giving up, the uncontrollable twitching ceasing. He would be dead soon.

_I am scared. I don’t want to be alone._

_Please._

He prayed with everything that was left of him. Because the Forest always listened.

And then he wasn’t alone.

There was a figure looming over him.

It was a boy. Wire rimmed glasses, and brown hair and a blue sweater that was damp on his shoulders like he just came out of the rain.

He was one of the boys that saved him. Gansey. He was looking at him with genuine grief, tears welling in his eyes.

“Noah…”, he whispered, voice small and pleading.

And Noah tried to respond, the taste of blood in his throat.

_Help._

_I am so scared.  
Please don’t leave me alone._

But those weren’t the words that left his mouth.

Rather, he heard his voice escape his lips, full of meaning he couldn’t possibly understand, as everything mercifully and tragically faded into the darkness.

“Don’t throw it away”

And then he woke up screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Take care in those difficult times and take care of each other!


End file.
